10 excuses to use after failing a performance-enhancing drug test
1 Blame your brother
In May 2015, Barry Awad, better known as Kid Galahad, was banned for two years after one of his drug tests showed traces of stanozolol, an anabolic steroid. He blamed the result on his brother having spiked his protein shake.
2 Blame an uncastrated wild boar
On June 24, 2016, the day his rematch against Wladimir Klitschko was postponed, Tyson Fury was charged by UK Anti-Doping “with presence of a prohibited substance” from a sample taken in February 2015. The substance in question was nandrolone, an anabolic steroid with tissue-building properties Fury believed was present in an uncastrated wild boar he had eaten.
3 Blame dirty beef
In March 2018, Saúl “Canelo” Álvarez, the biggest star in the sport, tested positive for clenbuterol, a drug often used to increase muscle mass and cardiovascular output. He blamed the result on eating contaminated beef and served a measly six-month ban.
4 Blame asthma
“Let’s Go, Champ! Let’s Go, Champ!” For a man with breathing difficulties Shannon Briggs sure did like to talk a lot. That said, asthma comes in handy when elevated levels of testosterone show up in your drug test, as was the case with Briggs in 2017.
5 Blame a blocked nose
In 2018, Billy Joe Saunders saw a fight against Demetrius Andrade disappear when he tested positive for the banned stimulant oxilofrine. His team said the substance was a “common decongestant nasal spray” and did not contravene to UK Anti-Doping regulations when used “out of competition”.
6 Blame high blood pressure
It was reported in September 2017 that Cuban heavyweight Luis Ortiz had failed a drug test for chlorothiazide, a diuretic used to not only treat high blood pressure but also as a masking agent for performance-enhancing drugs.
7 Blame Russia
Lucas Browne said he was clean when he went to Chechnya to KO Ruslan Chagaev, the home favourite, in 2016, but somehow returned to news of a failed test for clenbuterol. It could only mean his food or drink was spiked – by Russians.
8 Blame the illuminati
After failing a PED test for synthetic testosterone following his 2015 fight against Steve Cunningham, former light-heavyweight champion Antonio Tarver said, “It’s a frame job. I don’t know what or who’s behind this crap. But all I know is I’m clean. I’m clean – period.”
9 Blame low testosterone
Boxers are typically full of testosterone, but Lamont Peterson, struggling in this department, saw nothing wrong with using synthetic testosterone ahead of an aborted 2012 fight with Amir Khan. Now, sadly, many use this excuse.
10 Blame the game
Heavyweight Larry Olubamiwo took the “can’t beat them, join them” concept to the extreme in 2012. He confessed to taking 13 illegal substances and then blamed everyone else for essentially pressuring him into following their lead.
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